Just a quick and simple meal of sole on a bed of kale, red onions, green bell peppers and mushrooms all cooked with Dijon mustard. My heart was very happy while eating this!
If I didn’t recognize it already, yesterday my line sister outright said it: “you stay busy.”
Yes, yes I do. It’s not even on purpose, but I have so many great people in my life and so many varying interests and commitments and events that there’s always something going on. It’s great, but what it means is that I have to constantly rearrange my priorities. Often, cooking finds itself on the chopping block (get it? hehehe). I still cook for myself, but most times they’re uninteresting meals that consist of a buncha stuff that I throw together in a pot or pan.
But a few nights ago, I decided to ditch my workout to cook some veggie burgers. I had carrot pulp that I saved after juicing and I always wanted to try making veggie burgers with leftover carrot pulp so I gave it a go. I looked up a few recipes online, but didn’t find a specific one I wanted to use. Instead, I just took ideas from here and there.
To give it more volume, I mashed in some black-eyed peas with the carrot pulp. I would have rather used black beans, but I didn’t have any. I had black-eyed peas. So that’s what I used. I was making steamed broccoli and corn as a side, so I figured may as well add some of that to the mixture as well. I chopped up mushrooms and threw them in and some bell peppers and garlic too. I thought to add chopped onions, but by this time I was getting tired of cutting and mashing so I skipped the onions.
To help it stay together I put some flaxseed meal in a little bowl with water, let it thicken a little then used it as the egg substitute. I didn’t measure anything out, but I think I should have because I ended up needing more.
Lastly, was the seasoning. I kinda just pulled stuff out and threw it in:
This is what they looked like when they were almost done. When I tried to turn them over, they started to fall apart, so I let ’em cook a little longer before attempting to flip again and they were fine. Guess I got a little impatient. Oh, and I realized about half way through the preparation process that I had no bread of any sort, so I just ate them as patties with my broccoli and corn on the side. It was good. I was happy. Who wants to workout when you can eat instead?
Every night before I go to bed, I look at the clock (i.e. cell phone) and think about what time I’m going to get up in the morning. When I went to sleep the night of November 26th 2010, I didn’t think it would be over two years until I woke up again.
That next day something in me broke and it feels as though I’ve been in a state of catatonia ever since. To be clear, these past years haven’t been bad years. It’s quite the contrary actually, the past two years have been great. I’ve found a great place to worship and enjoy many new relationships. I’ve traveled to new places. I’ve gotten an exciting new job. And I’d say that I’ve grown tremendously. Still, as it was all happening I was in a haze. Sure there were moments of consciousness, but like when I wake up in the middle of the night, I wasn’t ready to get out the bed, still desiring – still needing – sleep. Sleep living.
But 2013 shone on me in my sleep like the light of the sun hitting my face in the morning. I’m awake now and I’m getting ready for the new day with the sense of urgency that comes from knowing you’ve been asleep for long enough. And as I dress myself in preparation of this day, I am coming to accept a simple truth: what was of Bernadette is gone. I awake a new woman, with new convictions, new priorities, new understandings. I can’t live the life that was when I went to sleep, that life has passed. New wine calls for new wineskin!
All the goals that I had previously, all that I wanted for my life before have given way to a new goal:
“And this is my prayer: that [my] love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that [I] may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ – to the glory and praise of God!“
(A prayer for God’s people found in Paul’s letter to the Body of Christ in Philippi, first chapter, verses nine through eleven)
I don’t know what this new day holds, but I’m preparing for it with excitement and expectancy. I know, without a doubt in my mind, that God has wonderful things in store for me this year. And I know that through all things, the pleasant and unpleasant alike, God is growing me to become more and more Beautifully Bernadette.